Sunday 16 May 2010

An education

I was clearing out the spare room this weekend and came across the paediatrics textbook I used over thirty years ago. One of the consultants was a bit of a character, and I made a note of a few of his sayings inside the book. Since I cannot find his obituary on BMJ.com I think he must still be alive, which is a cheering thought. I thought you might appreciate this flavour of medical education three decades ago. We were well aware that his tongue was frequently in his cheek.
  • (To a baby.) You know the rules, you can't wee on consultants.
  • No baby is allowed to die without antibiotics, christening and cortisone.
  • (Of drug companies offering sponsorship.) I suppose if you're very poor you have to take anybody's money, but otherwise you ought to be able to tell them to f*** off.
  • Seeing this is enough to make Matron's knickers fall down. And when that happens, all you can say is “get them on”.
  • Babies and women. Do you think they're human?
  • Do try only to kill people on purpose.
  • How many times do you make bad mistakes? Several every day? I only hope that when I'm nobbled I'm in the right and not in the wrong.
  • Don't you think you've had enough for one day? It's my drinking hour.
 Ah, those were the days!

7 comments:

Pondering Practitioner said...

He sounds like a real character. It's amazing the difference a good (and amusing) teacher makes.

Northern Doctor said...

Very good - really enjoyed these.

The problem with this sort of idiosyncratic teaching was that for every completely brilliant and inspiring doctor one had to suffer at the hands of a lot of humourless bullies to get to the nuggets.

steph said...

What an education! Lucky you!

I like the Matron one best of all and am left pondering what had the potential to upset Matron so much?

Ms-Ellisa said...

I thought I'd contribute a couple from my rotation in Peds this February:

"When you're about to treat a sick baby think in two ways, one: what would you do if the baby was yours, two, what would you do if you knew the baby's parents are famous baristers specialised in sueing doctors. If those two match, you're lucky"

"What is amazing is that despite all of the parents' and the doctors' efforts to screw things up, most kids grow up fine"

I don't think much has changed in these 30 years...~

:-)

Anonymous said...

How wonderful that you are back! I had given up looking as it had been so long. And just as much wisdom as ever.

Dr Andrew Brown said...

Thanks everyone for your helpful comments.

Ms-Ellisa: thanks for the additional contributions.

Anonymous: I'm glad to be back. Look out for occasional posts in future.

Dr Andrew Brown said...

Thanks everyone for your helpful comments.

Ms-Ellisa: thanks for the additional contributions.

Anonymous: I'm glad to be back. Look out for occasional posts in future.