Tension

Just occasionally patients show some sign of understanding that their doctor may be stressed. I was stressed last night, and finding it hard to cope with patient demand. Sometimes patients will come in with a relatively simple problem, listen to my explanation, accept my proposed treatment, and leave. That is one end of the scale. At the other are patients who pour out their needs in an incoherent flood, refuse to consider my alternative way of interpreting their problems, will not accept my reassurance or treatment suggestions, and frequently end up demanding second opinions. That may sound unkind. Of course patients have a right to express their distress, but in such consultations the normal rules of conversation go out of the window. Such patients are so centred on themselves that they have no thought for the person opposite, but plough on with their demands and brook no argument. The technical term for this is “the entitled demander”, I believe.

Last night I found myself floundering in my chair as a patient demanded explanations that I could not give about his chronic illness. In fact I quite like him and normally we get on very well, but last night my morale was low and he overwhelmed me. Because I thought we had a fairly good relationship I eventually laid my cards on the table and said “I'm sorry, but I'm not on top form tonight and I can't say anything helpful”. His immediate reply was “well, if you were on top form, what would you say?” But after a minute he seemed to grasp the position I was in, and agreed to leave things for a few weeks and see how they went. I was grateful for that.

I was still feeling a bit stressed this morning when half-way through the session I saw a Polish lady in her eighties. She used to see my partner who retired a few months ago, and now comes to see me instead. Like many Polish women of her age she suffered a lot in her early life but made the best of it and never complains. It may be because I subconsciously appreciate this, but we have hit it off. I think she sees me as a long-lost son or grandson, and I have even managed to persuade her to take some of her medication. As she got up to go this morning she made for me rather than the door. This happens to me occasionally with elderly ladies, and I confidently expected to receive a kiss or a little hug. I was wrong, for she moved around behind me and started massaging my upper back muscles. She kept going for several minutes, and extended the massage to my neck and forehead. It felt expertly done, and she told me she had learned this while training to be a nurse during the war.

I did wonder about the ethics of allowing a patient to massage me during a consultation, but as she was almost old enough to be my grandmother and I am no spring chicken myself, I figured that the GMC would not be too concerned if they found out. What I realised as soon as she started was that my back muscles were extremely tense, and must have been so all morning. Although I wasn't aware that I had been tense during the consultation she had obviously picked it up, and done something practical about it.

She really did me a lot of good, because I will pay more attention to my posture and avoiding excessive muscle tension in future. But she also got rid of all my stress and tension, and restored my faith in human nature. In the NHS patients do not pay the doctor directly for their consultations, and it often feels as though we spend all our time giving to patients. From time to time patients will offer a little gift back to their doctor. Today I received a large gift indeed.